The Unofficial Guide to Jewbearianism

Hi!!! I'm Riley and obviously really cool. I love humor and pretty stuff... also pretty people... Feel free to ask me questions! Or just to message me. Enjoy your visit in my cave
Don’t you get it? I chose you, over anyone else. I always fucking choose you.
—(via luftnot)

(Source: latelycravingmore)


Anonymous inquired:
how would you know if assman swaps top or bottom.. unless you did him

Well my friend… I have not fucked Tristan. Now, I bet you are confused, yes? How else could I have learned about the preferred sexual position? I may have communicated with others rather had the experience on my own. ADDITIONALLY, why would I have delayed my answer if I had already had intercourse with said butt?

xxthisgirllovesyouxx:

shavingryansprivates:

hauntumn:

hauntumn:

hauntumn:

Hakuna Matata

What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata

it means “DROP THE BASS”

BWUY YOH wohhhh widdle da widdle do woodley widdledy wawww weeeeh gritchlew WEUUUUW,  GWAAH GWOOH GRAW GRIH GRIH GRIH GREUUUUW GWEEE nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee nyee REHHH sheww

what you did is inexcusable 

(Source: evaunit08)

jerkperalta:

hello it’s your unfriendly neighborhood eliana


Anonymous inquired:
TRISTAN GOT MAD ASS GAME

eh mine is better lets be honest

HELLO TUMBLR FRIEND WHO LIKED MY FRIENDS BUTT!!! I have received news that the person you are inquiring switches between both…

politicallyincorrectwalrus:

i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
who knows.


jerkperalta inquired:
I love you but I can't join the fucktruck cos we're related

I agree… you are not allowed on the fucktruck

OKAY SO ONE OF YOU SWEET LITTLE FUCKS STARTED THE FUCKTRUCK TO REPLACE/COEXIST WITH THE BANGWAGON SO IS NOBODY EVEN GOING TO RIDE IN THE FUCKTRUCK?


jerkperalta inquired:
CAN YOU SEE WHY I MAY HAVE FLOUNDERED FOR A SECOND. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN QUITE THE DEVELOPMENT. LIKE. WOW.

oh well I GUESS i could see your worry


jerkperalta inquired:
OH LIKE THEYRE ASKING YOU TO ASK TRISTAN, YOU ARENT HAVING ANAL WITH TRISTAN O K A Y

NO I AM NOT FUCKING TRISTAN… BUT THEY MAY WANT ME TO IDK


jerkperalta inquired:
RILEY MY SWEET BABY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ANAL WHAT THE FUCK DKFJ SLKJ

WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO FUCK ME (?) AND SOMEBODY WHO I MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW LIKES TRISTAN’S BUTT AND WANTS TO KNOW WHO AM I TO DEPRIVE THEM OF THAT INFORMATION?

©ID